Disturbed
by ex-tea-sea
Summary: WARNING: Fullseries spoilers, random xovers DN, Naruto, Mankin, future yaoi and crack. AU! L passes on and discovers that travelling between anime worlds is what happens in the afterlife. Complete crack. Read at own risk.
1. Chapter 1

**(disclaimer;) **I do NOT own ANY of the characters, people, cartoons, or .. well, really anything whatsoever in this fic. And how!** (/disclaimer)**

**(WARNING;) **FULL SERIES SPOILERS. Read at your own risk.** (/WARNING)**

**(Author's Note;)**

This is, currently, Jill. And only Jill.

I appologize. With all of my dying and black bisexual heart I appologize. This is the most horrible thing I have ever written. It is insulting to absolutely EVERYONE in EVERY WAY that my twisted mind could think of.

And it will scar you. And scare you. And probably make you NEVER want to look at my or Tilli's work ever again (although you should! Because Tilli is a REALLY good writer!). So yes. Read at your own risk.

Influence: Sugar, coffee, donuts.

Warning: Crack, OOCness, A/U, more OOCness, more crack.

Future Warnings: Random incest, more crack, more OOCness, more A/U, disturbing content that in unsuitable for all audiences, minimal l337, more disturbing content, random Gangster speak, Takeshi Obata (!).

Please no bashing? Me poor little heart is weak. This wasn't ment to be serious. At all. Bear in mind that I've warned you all. Thanks.

**(/Author's Note) **

**The Disturbed**

**Chapter One; Death**

In the land of Death Note which coincidentially happens to be the familiar planet "earth", Yagami Raito was sitting in a church pew with his girlfriend Misa and his Shinigami pal, Ryuuku.

"So, Misa-chan," Raito said, "Which anime do you like to watch the most?"

Now, this ma appear to be a strange thing for our dear Yagami-kun to say! But, let us bear in mind that this is supposed to be the "real world", minus the whole killer note book and being a manga thing, so I just safely assume there is some form of media on Japanese television other than the News. And this is my fanfiction and therefore you have no say in this so stfu.

Right. Anyway.

Misa glanced up at Raito and throughtfully tapped her chin with her finger. "Well, Raito-kun 3! I really like to watch the anime called 'Mew Mew Power'!"

"Wtf, Misa," Raito said. "That's the dub version of 'Tokyo Mew Mew'!"

"I know," Misa replied, beaming. "I love watching anime that I don't understand." She looked at the long-forgotten-of Ryuuku who was floating absent-mindedly above them. "What's your favourite anime, Ryuuku?"

Ryuuku looked begeyededly at her. "I like Naruto! How about you, Raito?"

Raito beamed. "Hikaru no Go, because the artist is the same as our's!" He turned his head to the pew behind him where L, M, and N were all pleasantly seate in church dresses. Why? I don't know. Perhapps I felt like there wasn't enough humor in this situation? Maybe. I'd blame the coffee if I were you.

"Yo, L. What do you guys watch?"

L stared at him and stuck his thumb in his mouth. "Serial Experiments Lain!"

Near twirled his hair, looking weirdly attractive. "Love Hina..."

Mello was half-way through saying "Lord of the Rings" when he suddenly choked on a piece of chocolate and died. Probably because he didn't like anime. (?)

L screamed. Near fainted. Misa hummer the Sailor Moon theme to herself. Ryuuku gasped. "IT MUST BE THE WORK OF KIRA!"

Raito rolled his eyes. "Stfu, Ryuuku. As though Kira would kill some one via choco-death."

Ryuuku blinked. "Good point. Misa, you bitch!"

Misa stared at Ryuuku and then her eyes began to grow large and watery like emotional female anime eyes tend to. "But I thought it was have been_ funny_!"

L blinked. "Wtf, guys. Who are you two talking to?"

Raito and Misa looked at eachother, then at L, as Misa began to scribble a name down on a piece of paper. "We have telepathic abilities," they replied in hushed unison.

L leapt up hunched-overedly. "I KNEW it! You are both Kira one and Kira two!"

Ryuuka beamed. "Damn straight, schizo-boy!"

Raito and Misa gasped. "How dare you make an accusation!"

Misa suddenly giggled. "Thirty-nine..."

L then died as a cross came flying from his church's stage and struck him through the forehead. Of course, we're probably all wondering why the fuck he was alive in the first place after the whole Remu dilemma in Death Note Chapter 54, but let's just say that never existed in the first place. Because lesbian shinigami can go screw themselves. Remu was sooooo butch. Anyway, moving on.

Raito and Misa high fived. "Yes! L is finally dead!"

Raito patted Misa on the knee. "Good thing you had those Shinigami eyes, ne?"

Misa suddenly started foaming at the mouth, ran into a wall and died.

Raito blinked. "Wtf?"

"Her life span was cut like... hella short. That was like... what, the ZILLIONTH time the got them?" Ryuuku put it.

"Oh. Right. Oh well." Raito pulled out a pocket tape recorder. "Note to self... Find new idolizing chick to sacrifice herself for my good though arguably evil purposes."

Ryuku snarled.

Raito cringed. "And buy more apples."

Ryuuku smiled with a long string of drool hanging from the corner of his mouth. "Applezzz."

However. LITTLE DID THEY KNPOW, the universe was askew.

- 3-

**(Author's Note;)** Right. Please don't kill me. Thank you. . Chapter Two will be around in time. **(/Author's Note)**


	2. Chapter 2

**(disclaimer;) **I do NOT own ANY of the characters, people, cartoons, or .. well, really anything whatsoever in this fic. And how!** (/disclaimer)**

**(WARNING;) **FULL SERIES SPOILERS. Read at your own risk.** (/WARNING)**

**(Author's Note;)**

This is, currently, Jill. And only Jill.

I appologize. With all of my dying and black bisexual heart I appologize. This is the most horrible thing I have ever written. It is insulting to absolutely EVERYONE in EVERY WAY that my twisted mind could think of.

And it will scar you. And scare you. And probably make you NEVER want to look at my or Tilli's work ever again (although you should! Because Tilli is a REALLY good writer!). So yes. Read at your own risk.

Influence: Sugar, coffee, donuts.

Warning: Crack, OOCness, A/U, more OOCness, more crack, random incest, disturbing content that is unsuitable for all audiences, Emily Rose, random Gangster speak, crack, Nazi insult, blablabla.

Future Warnings: Random incest, more crack, more OOCness, more A/U, disturbing content that is unsuitable for all audiences, minimal l337, more disturbing content, random Gangster speak, Takeshi Obata (?), Emily Rose (!), Quagmire (!).

Please no bashing? Me poor little heart is weak. This wasn't ment to be serious. At all. Bear in mind that I've warned you all. Thanks.

**(/Author's Note) **

**The Disturbed**

**Chapter Two; Alcohol**

Meanwhile, in an alternate anime universe, which happened to be Naruto and co, Kakashi, Sakura, Sasuke, and the star of the show himself, Itachi, were sitting around a camp fire somewhere in the Village of the Mist.

Kakashi huccoughed, an arm draped around the completely drugged pink-haired teenager that was Sakura beside him. "And then... I .. hic.. said.. 'CABBAGE!'..."

Sakura and everyone guffawed stonily and smashedly at Kakashi's one-sentanced humor. Naruto (who was also there), suddenly grabbed his crotch. "Yo, G's, u no ah relly gotza wizzle-ta-tha-fizzle so ya u no rite n ya I brb shizzles."

The group watched Naruto wizzle into the fire-izzle. Wall, all but Sasuke and Itachi who were having hot, incesty ass sex in a nearby bush, all of which will be graphically described in chapter 7 because I hear that chicks dig that sort of thing. Being one of broadened horiziens I naturally feel that boyxboy should be right in this world. And I love chicks like fat kids love cake so stfu.

Anyway, just as Sakura was, for some reason or another, taking off her top for Kakashi (and Ino, Shikamaro, Shino, Chouji, Kiba, Kimimaro, Gaara, Ten Ten, Kankuro, the Kyuubi, Temari, and Kisame, all of who were there do but I couldn't be bothered to list off until now,) when suddenly the terrifying slouchy figure of L suddenly made himself present in the middle of the Naruto Cast's circle.

To shorten the next paragraph:

Everyone: "Wtf?"

L gazed around at the Naruto cast. "So, who else knew that dying sent you through a wormhole in the anime universe to alternate anime and manga series?"

Emily Rose nodded and rose her hand. Then her eye twitched and she stared screaming about Satan and tearing her own hair out.

Naruto finally gave up on putting out the fire with his urine ad waggled his manhood and L. "Who're you?"

L blinked. "I am L. Shouldn't you guys be filming?"

"Dude, no way!" Iruka (yet another unlisted character) exclaimed. "We're having our episode 20461 afterparty. Cause, damn, you know, the freaking artists just won't give us a break. How many god damned episodes ARE there to this anime? HOLY CRAP!"

L smiled and poked his thumb into his own mouth. "Oh, I see."

Shikamaru pointed a lazy (and most likely drunken) figer at all. "Neh, neh. You don't even _have_ an anime, dumbass. You only have a manga."

L frowned. "I may not have an anime but I own you al lbecause I am L. Aside from that, I also get about five or so seconds of screen time in _Full Metal Panic: The Second Raid, episode Six_. You can even ask Misamisa-chan, Yagami-kun and Yagami-san. They're in it, too."

The Naruto cast stared.

Kimimaro was the first to leap up. "Yo, Sasuke, can we borrow your television for a little while?"

There was a muffled moan of permission from the bushes and everyone hurriedly ran to the Uchiha house to see for themselves, amongst Emily Rose's screams of "YOU'RE ALL NAZI'S! YOU'RE ALL FRICKEN NAZI'S!".

And so they watched _Full Metal Panic: The Second Raid, Episode Six_ to see L's screentime.

**(Author's Note;)**

Translation: Yo, gangsters, you know, I really have to piss, so yeah, you know... right. And yeah. Be right back, shits.

Oh god, I don't know. Blame the coffee.

It's true. You can even see for yourself if you have the episode. Or if you frequent the LJ community "deathnote", where they have about 50000+ posts from screencaps of it.

"YOU'RE ALL NAZI'S! YOU'RE ALL FRICKEN NAZI'S!" - Cookie Monster; A quote from Family Guy. ... I like Family Guy.

**(/Author's Note)**


End file.
